“I wanna get there before it closes, nerdle brain!”
Opening scene: Camera pans in on a house by a cemetery on a night of thunder and lightning. Inside, a woman lay awake staring at the ceiling. She has a vision of a female hitchhiker being picked up and murdered. She screams, as if waking up from a nightmare.
The following morning, the coroners show up to an apartment building. A crowd gathers on the street out front. There are six dead girls inside with no signs as to their cause of deaths. The inside of the apartment is thrashed, like a tornado came through, silverware and dishes stuck into the walls and the six dead girls piled and spilling out of the closet. The apartment belongs to Raymar, who died of a heart-attack and is being transported to the local mausoleum. His daughter, Olivia, from the opening, shows up with her husband, Adam West, AKA, Batman.
Elsewhere: A college campus. Three girls, Leslie, Carol, and Kitty: The Sisters. Julie is the newest pledge who is coincidently dating Steve, Carol’s ex. Carol has special plans for Julie. She’s jealous even though she dumped him.
That night, Steve and Julie go on a date at the beach. They play arcade games, air hockey, and ride bumper cars... A nice little boardwalk montage. But the date goes sour as they fight over Julie’s desire to join the sorority and prove she’s not a “pansy.” She storms off and walks home.
A senior writer for the World of the Occult, Dockstader, pays Olivia a visit. He explains bio-energy and that it exists in all living things. By tapping into bio-energy, her father could move things with his mind. Olivia had always been told that he was a fake, but Raymar could actually drain the energy of living things and use said energy to levitate things, hence, no noticeable cause of death. And he usually picked up hitchhikers, hence, Olivia’s vision/dream. Dockstader leaves her with a tape.
Steve goes over to Carol’s to confront her about how she’s treating Julie and tells her to back off. Nothing like the ex causing problems with the current. She offers a subtle proposition so he pushes her away and leaves. She watches him drive away, disappointed that her old charms no longer work. Downstairs she reads a note from her mom saying that she’ll be gone till Sunday so she calls Julie to let her know she’ll be picking her up in fifteen minutes and to bring a sleeping bag. It’s time for her final test.
The Sisters give Julie a flashlight and drop her off at the mausoleum where she’ll be locked in until morning. The inside of the mausoleum reminds me of Phantasm. Julie walks around and looks for a place to set up camp. She just happens to find a cozy little spot next to Raymar’s “drawer.”
Later That Night: Adam West invites Olivia to hit the hay. She lies and says she’s gonna finish reading a chapter of her book, but really she is going to listen to her tape: The Karl Raymar Experiment.
Back at The mausoleum, Julie tries to go to sleep, but can’t. Every tiny noise keeps her up so she gets a drink of water.
The Sisters circle back to the mausoleum, smoking a joint and planning to scare Julie, but Leslie is not down so they drop her off. Carol and Kitty, sneak into the mausoleum through a window they propped open earlier.
Steve is worried about Julie so he stops by her house, but no answer. He drives around on his motorcycle, with no helmet, looking for her, but instead finds Leslie and she spills the beans: Julie is in the mausoleum. Steve’s pissed, but Leslie won’t go with him so he has to find the propped window by himself.
Carol and Kitty find Raymar’s drawer. Carol knows who he is. They light up the last of the joint and trade puffs. Carol tells Kitty the stories about him, but Kitty assumes she’s just fucking with her. Carol flicks the roach at Raymar’s placard, which seems to wake him as well as piss him off. They separate as they prepare to scare Julie.
Carol starts to notice that something is up. She looks for Kitty. The chapel is trashed and they assume Julie did it.
Olivia is still listening to the tape, which foreshadows what’s happening in the mausoleum. Olivia has inherited some of her father’s power and is watching everything from the comfort of her home.
Meanwhile, the wall above Raymar’s drawer is glowing, cracked, and about to bust... Then it does and his casket hovers out. The girls sit transfixed in front of it. The casket opens, Raymar comes out, although not back to life, undead.
Olivia is on her way, despite Adam West’s pleas to stop her.
Steve found the window, and now he’s in, but more coffins are sliding out of their drawers.
Raymar is back from the dead. His eyes are electric as he brings other coffins out and the corpses to rise from inside. Luckily, the Sisters are getting the worst of it while Julie is left alone, trapped in a room. She has no idea what’s going on outside the room.
Once Julie is free, she runs into Steve. He tries to comfort her. He blames all the events on Carol and Kitty, but she knows it’s something more. When they turn around, they’re surrounded by undead corpses. Julie winds up face to face with Raymar, but Olivia arrives in time, kinda. She saves Julie, but gets knocked to the ground. She grabs her compact mirror out of her spilled purse and points it at Ramar’s (Emperor) eyes, channeling his negative energy right back into his skull, killing him and the corpses he resurrected. Then she, Julie, and Steve leave. As for Carol and Kitty, they dead. The End.
Afterthought: There’s so much to like about this film: The year, the title, the premise, everything but the film itself. It’s not even that it’s bad, it’s just blah and it has three groups of characters that it bounces between so you can’t really get into any of the scenes cuz as soon as you do it goes back to the other, like when Walking Dead got really popular and loaded with commercial dividers only to leave you on a cliffhanger then return to a different scene. Or maybe its just me, sorry, this was a terrible review.
The Badass Bitch Award goes to Olivia, for learning about her father and harnessing his powers enough to save Steve and Julie.
What did we learn? Survival Tips:
1) Once again, don’t hitchhike!
2) Don’t dump your boyfriend if you’re still in love with him.
3) Don’t spend the night in a mausoleum!
4) Don’t cheat when you already have a loaded deck.
5) Don’t be a deadbeat dad!